Today was a bad day.
I barely woke up this morning, clawing for consciousness against what felt like a smothering cloud of sleep. I stumbled to the bathroom to wash my face and got an eyelash stuck in my eye. The kids woke up just as hard as I did and it is raining again.
My daughter took ages to get out of bed and started the day off in a complaining whine that I’m not sure ever stopped. She glowered, huffed, and protested about anything and everything. When I explained to her that we would do the homework she had been avoiding when she got home, she loudly attempted to shift blame to me for “misunderstanding” something. I say, “something” because she was rather vague about what and how it affected her homework.
When I finally had them loaded in the car the trip went smoothly until it was time for drop off. She forgot her backpack. School is about 40 minutes away, and my car is having significant mechanical issues, running rough, and eating gas like the tank had a hole in it.
I took a breath and avoided starting her morning out by fussing or complaining.
The car did have issues most of the second trip to the school and back. When I got home, I was spent. I looked at the dishes that needed to be done and the usual bit of tidying that needs doing and shook my head.
“No.”
I metaphorically threw in the towel, took a seat in my chair, and played a video game I have been enjoying called No Man’s Sky. The hours between drop off and pick up flew by like minutes. With time fast approaching I went to save and quit the game I had been working on and it froze up and force-closed before I could.
The car continued to struggle to run on my third trip to school today and my daughter picked up her complaining and grumping as soon as homework came up.
I sat her at the table and in a calm, flat, voice explained that I would not be listening to her complaining. If she wanted to have a bad attitude, she would be doing her work alone because I did not deserve to be fussed at for trying to help her. I told her it was her choice.
She grumpily, but quietly, did her work quickly and when I mentioned how fast she got through it she started to gripe while glaring at me. Once again, adopting a calm flat voice, I told her that if she wanted to be grumpy and have a bad attitude she could do so alone.
“Today is our last day together this week, I don’t want to spend it like this”, I said.
She immediately sat up, smiled, and began calming down.
We all have bad days sometimes. We all get up on the wrong side of the bed occasionally. For my daughter, clear and firm communication about her options and what I wanted was enough for her to think about what she was doing and change her choices.
Sometimes I wonder if we would all benefit from having someone to sit us down and talk clearly, firmly, and evenly about our behavior and choices for the day. Especially when we are having a bad day. I wonder if I would respond as appropriately as she did. I wonder if I would be equally capable of turning my day around.
All told, nothing major went wrong, just a series of minor issues on a day when our patient resilience was diminished. I thank God for the equilibrium to calmly address the issues. At the very least I hope it serves as an example of our ability to choose and control our reaction to things for my kiddos. Who knows, maybe today wasn’t such a bad day after all.