Math, I hate math.
I am not talking calculus, trigonometry, or some other ridiculous abomination dreamt up by some sadistic madman bent on torturing students. I mean all of the math.
I remember leaning over pages of homework stacked full of sets of problems. The teachers would give me the “formula” for the equations. I didn’t understand the formula. The teachers said that I didn’t need to understand it, just to apply it. I would apply the formula and get the wrong answer. The teachers would tell me that because the problem was different the formula needed to be adjusted.
How was I supposed to know that, or know how to do that, if I didn’t understand what I was doing?
I spent hours desperately trying to figure out why I couldn’t get it right. I cried. My parents cried. My teachers ground their teeth. This started before I ever reached algebra.
I hate math.
Math did not start to make sense to me until college. My program did not require any advanced mathematics but requested I take a semi-remedial math class to ensure I tested above math competency levels.
I do not know what the professor did that was any different from any previous teacher, but he made math make sense. Once I understood the equations, the math work, while still unpleasant, was more tedious than difficult. It was healing and cathartic to work through the problems with relative ease.
Up until that moment, a small part of me had believed what that teacher told me all those years before; I was stupid.
Not mentally challenged, or broadly ignorant. I always performed well in every other academic realm and excelled in some. None of it, however, was enough to erase that seed of doubt deep inside that perhaps I really was stupid because, after all, I could not do the math.
I can do it now; I just hate it.
Last night during my video call with the kids my daughter was having to study her spelling words. She had several words she was struggling with, and her mother was having her write the words. It is a solid strategy. It worked for me and worked for my son, but my daughter was not happy.
I heard her start to cry and ask why. When her mother told her she knew why my daughter responded with a wail that it wouldn’t help and that she just couldn’t do it.
It broke my heart.
I know what that feeling is like, and I know how persistent it can be. My life was changed by my mother’s willingness to homeschool. I went from hating school to excelling in it. It has made all the difference.
I desperately want my kids to enjoy learning. I don’t want them to grow up hating school and all the formulaic, stressful, and, often useless, bull crap that goes with public school. This is one of the big reasons I look forward to being back in town with my children. I may not be able to homeschool them, but I seem to be able to help them with their schoolwork in a less stressful and unpleasant manner.
Taking the time to instill a love of learning in your children is an incredibly important investment. If your children are taught to enjoy learning they will spend the rest of their lives enriching themselves. There are many ways to instill a love for learning, but there are a few foundational ways.
1. Teach them about things they are interested in.
Find something they are already in love with, fascinated by, or curious about, and find engaging ways to teach them about those subjects. Keep it light and keep it fun. Don’t just drop facts on them, or give them homework, but tell stories, play games, go to museums, or do projects together that deal with those subjects. Listen to their stories and talk to them about those things.
2. Learn with them.
Watch a national geographic special, read an article, or look up some facts and learn about something they will find cool. Then share that information with them. Be excited about it. Use the phrase, “Hey, did you know…” and tell them how cool you think it is that moose can dive twenty feet and have two layers of hair. If they see you enjoying learning, they will catch the enthusiasm.
3. Teach them how to learn.
People do not automatically know how to learn. Unfortunately, our school systems do not do a good job of teaching children how to learn. Children can have all the desire to learn but if they do not know how to do it correctly, they will likely only retain bits of trivia.
When I taught my son his spelling words, I would verbally quiz him to establish a baseline of what he knew already. I would then have him write each word several times and we would pick back up with verbal quizzing. When he asked me why he had to write them down I explained that our brain has several ways it learns and that the more of those we can engage the better chance it has of remembering things.
When I helped him understand why and he saw the results of his efforts, he stopped pushing back. Kids need to be taught how to study, how to take notes, how to look things up, and how to think critically. We must teach them how to learn.
And then we need to…
4. Celebrate their success.
As I said, one of my son’s biggest turning points in his own struggles with spelling words was when he saw the good grades start rolling in. I did not give him a simple good job or a, “See, I told you.” I hugged him close, told him I was proud of him, hung the test on the fridge, and praised how hard he worked writing those words down so that he could remember them. I did my best to make him feel like a superhero for owning that test and not just the first one. For every test he passed and felt proud of I offered praise. Eventually, he moved on from being impressed by his good grades and took them for granted. I counted that a success.
Make sure you celebrate your kids’ achievements in learning. If they read a book, ask them to tell you all about it or read it to you. Hug them and tell them you are proud of them. If they pass a test, remember some facts, learn a new subject matter, or get a good grade then celebrate it.
Do not celebrate with a simple or off-hand reward. Don’t just offer extra video game time or give them a toy or snack. This isn’t a reward it is a chance for you to engage with them, bond with them, celebrate with them, and invest in them a sense of accomplishment and confidence that they can do it and it is valuable and worth doing.
Learning is far too valuable and important a skill for us to avoid taking every opportunity possible to invest in and teach it to our children. I am thankful every day that my mother understood this, and I strive to do my best to live up to that example in my own kids’ lives.
Regardless of your own history with education and learning, this is something you can do. You’ve got this. It takes time and being intentional. Sometimes it requires self-sacrifice and giving up things you would rather be doing, but it is invaluable.