You are still so young. You don’t think so. You are looking adulthood in the face and praying you don’t blink first.
I recognized the anxiety in your eyes when you asked me, “Should I go to college?”
First, who decided there was one magic age when people “become adults”? Who thought up the idea of a magic date where every life decision is suddenly up to you? It seems like a bad idea to me.
Did you know that isn’t how it always was?
Once upon a time, there were traditions, rituals, and a process that a man or woman had to walk through before becoming an adult. Fathers taught their sons, and mothers taught their daughters how to be men and women of character, ethics, and integrity.
Becoming an adult was a process that you were walked through in the company of a community. In fact, becoming an adult meant joining that community as a contributing member. Parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and family friends were not simply resources you could reach out to. They were active partners with you in engaging this time of transition.
Whatever made us think one birthday made the difference?
But you asked me about college.
First, let me clarify that I am in no position to tell you what to do with your life. I know things seem overwhelming, and knowing exactly how you want life to go seems impossible.
I can’t give you answers because I’m still figuring it out myself.
What I can do is tell you a story.
I went to Johnson Bible College at twenty-two years old. I made friends and lost some, made some good decisions and some bad ones, and grew immensely. Johnson was a small college on the outskirts of Knoxville. One of the best parts of Johnson was the tight-knit community. You could know your professors personally and spend time with them outside of class. They knew you by name and remembered you from class to class.
One such man was Dr. David Reece or Doc Reece.
Doc taught Old and New Testament classes with passion, insight, wisdom, humility, and humor. He was a master wordsmith and artisan at his craft, but more than anything, he was an incredible man of God.
I spent hours sitting in his office. I would share what I had going on in my life, and he would share what was going on in his. He was real, present, engaged, and full of life and love.
During one class on Old Testament poetry, he had us write poems for an assignment. After class, he asked if I would be willing to present mine to the class. Later, he would give me the opportunity to present something in another class I wasn’t even in. This wasn’t a testament to my advanced skill or ability; it was a testament to his willingness to invest in the lives of his students.
Doc was my role model and a spiritual father figure, and he played a major formative role in my life.
Years later, life had not gone as planned. I struggled to move forward in the work I wanted to do, and the seizure episodes had started. I had written and self-published a very small book and could not think of anyone I wanted to share it with more than Doc.
I will never forget his enthusiasm for the book. He had me sign it so that when I became “famous,” it would be worth something.
Let me be clear; I can look back at that book today and cringe at some of the writing. Doc was pouring into me what I needed. Then, when I talked to him about the church I was serving at, he looked me in the eye and took on a serious tone.
“David, are you sure you aren’t a big fish in a little pond?”
I grew up with such pitiful self-confidence that the concept blue-screened my brain. Doc was asking me if I was limiting myself by staying in a position that was neither fully utilizing nor appreciating my abilities. I couldn’t truly receive his message or insight at the time. To this day, I sincerely wish I had grown up quicker, gained wisdom faster, and done something worthy of his faith in me.
Doc finished his race and received the crown of life he had run towards so long. His passing left me feeling like an anchor in my life had been cut loose. I learned quickly that many, many people felt the same way. Doc Reece was an incredible man of God who left the imprint of God on the lives of thousands.
What does this have to do with college?
Many voices are striving for your attention. Many “influencers” desperately long to shape and mold your future. Some do so with “your good” in mind; most see only their own potential gain.
Colleges are the same way.
If you decide to pursue a career requiring a college education, choose carefully whom you let pour into your life. Becoming an adult is difficult, and the anxiety leaves you vulnerable and easily influenced; don’t let the wrong “influencers” steal your attention.
If you find someone with half the passion, integrity, character, and love of Doc, do whatever it takes to lean into that relationship and take advantage of every second of it you can. I grieve not one moment of my time with Doc, only the time I spent disconnected from him after graduation.
Whether trade school, college, or apprenticeship, find a community committed to partnering with you as you learn how to grow up. Life will come at you hard, and things will change and shift around you. Don’t take people for granted. Love them and listen to them while you can; it just might make all the difference.